Douglas Barker

Favourite Treats

• Doggy doughnuts (S.E.S cafeteria approved)
• Roast chicken, skin only
• Cheese cubes (cheddar, never blue)
• Peanut butter from a hollow bone
• A single sausage, slowly stolen
• Frozen blueberries on hot days

Hobbies

• Sniffing every lamppost on the route home
• Squirrel reconnaissance in Battersea Park
• Fetching tennis balls and refusing to give them back
• Sleeping on the warm laundry pile
• Riding shotgun in black cabs
• Supervising Herbert's homework

Loves

• Herbert (above all)
• Edward's Sunday pancakes
• Long midnight walks along the Thames
• Chasing squirrels
• Being told he is a 'good boy'
• Peeing in Fanny McNulty's pointy shoes

Hates

• Fanny McNulty
• The hoover (mortal enemy)
• Snails
• Bath time, every time
• Patronising squirrels
• The vet's waiting room
• Being left on the wrong side of any door

Favourite London Walks

• Battersea Park · Peace Pagoda loop

  Old stomping ground. Always says hello to the rangers.

• Wandsworth Common

  Off-lead heaven. Pond patrol duties.

• Tooting Bec Common

  Dawn run with Edward. Best for squirrels.

• Richmond Park · Isabella Plantation

  Deer-spotting only. Strict no-chase orders.

• South Bank · Tate to Tower Bridge

  Skateboard escort for Herbert. Best chips at the end.

• Hampstead Heath · Parliament Hill

  For special occasions. The view is for him too.

The Battersea Years

Douglas was a Battersea boy first. Turned up one wet Tuesday, no name, no collar, soaked through and shivering, with not a single wag left in his tail. The kennel staff sorted him out, warmed him up, fed him up, and slowly showed him what love was. The wag came back. So did the rest of him.

He still pops back now and again. A wag at reception, a quick turn round the block with whoever's free, biscuit on the way out. Battersea made him, and he's not forgotten it.

Friends Still On The Books

• S

  Winnifred · Chocolate cockapoo · Tunbridge Wells

  Pen pal and Sunday playdate. Curlier than Douglas, twice as bouncy.

• S

  Doug · Rhodesian ridgeback · farm in Cornwall

  Big brother in all but blood. Always there for Douglas. Protects, listens, looks after his little brother. Now lives with Balloo on the farm.

• S

  Balloo · Labrottie (Lab x Rottie) · farm in Cornwall

  Big lad, bigger heart. Sends the occasional muddy paw print in the post.

• S

  Toby · Black Labrador

  Always hungry, always smiling. Douglas's old kennel neighbour.

• S

  Jessica · Collie

  Brains of the corridor. Could herd anything that moved, including the volunteers.

• S

  Jess 2 · Old English sheepdog

  All fur, all love. Confused with a sofa on more than one occasion.

• S

  Angus · Rottie x Labrador

  Looks tough, secretly soft. Cried when Douglas got adopted first.

• S

  Tinks · Black Labrador (female) · Winchcombe, Cotswolds

  Glossy coat, gentle soul. Country life suits her.

• S

  Teddy · Short-haired terrier · Winchcombe, Cotswolds

  Pocket-sized whirlwind. Nose to the ground from dawn til dusk.

• Photo Redacted
  Top Secret

  The Colonel · Terrier · Winchcombe, Cotswolds

  Carries himself with rank. Rumour has it he has been recruited to the special forces.

• S

  Ambrose · Irish setter · Bude, Cornwall

  Russet coat, daft grin, ears full of sea breeze.