Internal Disciplinary Log
Register of Misbehaviours
The official S.E.S log of lapses, slip-ups and outright disasters by our own. Read, learn, do better.
Entry №001 · MB-001
Forgetting his security pass
Agent: Christopher Copperwash · Almost daily
EXTREME
Details
Forgets his pass on almost a daily basis. Now on a formal warning. May have to be micro-chipped.
Consequence
Three (3) hours every Tuesday with The Prof.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №002 · MB-002
Misuse of X-ray sunglasses
Agent: Several female operatives (names withheld) · Various
MAJOR
Details
Q-005 (X-ray Sunglasses) used to attempt to view Unit Z's 1st XV in the changing rooms. Multiple incidents logged.
Consequence
Sunglasses confiscated. Permanent ban for repeat offenders. Q-Lab access revoked for one quarter.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №003 · MB-003
Attempted consumption of tracking eclair
Agent: Douglas (K9-DOUG) · Ongoing
MINOR
Details
Subject made three documented lunges for the Q-008 tracking eclair during briefing. Restrained on each occasion. Tail wagging recorded as 'aggressive'.
Consequence
Verbal warning. Doggy doughnuts withheld for one (1) afternoon.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №004 · MB-004
Three (3) small explosions in the Q-Lab
Agent: The Prof · This quarter
MAJOR
Details
Logged incidents involve: a self-tightening bowtie (Tuesday), a 'mostly silent' grenade (Thursday), and a kettle (Friday). No casualties. Eyebrows: partial.
Consequence
Mandatory safety-goggles refresher. Kettle replaced.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №005 · MB-005
Civilian sleeping incident
Agent: Unknown S.E.S operative · Field test, Victoria Line
MAJOR
Details
Field test of Q-003 (Poison Pen Mk II) discharged repeatedly in a Victoria Line carriage, with over twenty (20) individual civilians directly targeted. By Oxford Circus the entire carriage was snoring. Several bystanders who witnessed others being zapped had to have their memories reversed by the on-call Memory Unit. Subjects woke confused at Walthamstow Central with no recollection of the journey.
Consequence
Field tests now restricted to Q-Lab. Apology eclairs sent to TfL. Memory Unit overtime authorised.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №006 · MB-006
Laughing during serious Ops meetings; rude cover names; unauthorised betting pool
Agent: Jonty Kinghorn · Last training day
MAJOR
Details
Repeatedly burst out laughing during serious operational briefings. Submitted a string of cover names with thinly-veiled double meanings (rejected by Registry, twice). Ran an unauthorised betting pool on whether active targets would be apprehended, with odds chalked up in the break room.
Consequence
Formal warning. Betting pool seized (and quietly settled). Cover-name privileges revoked.
S.E.S // HR Division
Entry №007 · MB-007
Over-interrogation of Russian infiltrators
Agent: Hattie Harrington-Harper · Building security incident
MAJOR
Details
Detained two suspected Russian infiltrators inside the building and conducted an interrogation lasting nine (9) hours without break. Accused by oversight of being 'too harsh' - subjects reportedly confessed to crimes they had not yet committed, requested asylum, and asked never to see her again. Also flagged for 'aggressive eye contact' during the post-incident handshake.
Consequence
Verbal warning. Hobnobs confiscated for one (1) week. Commended off the record.
S.E.S // HR Division